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This is a recap of the seven times (and counting) I got lost in Canada in the space of one week. Are you still reading? Oh good. Thought that might chase you away. So yeah, I’ve gotten lost a bunch of times and just rethinking my misadventures, so to speak, has got me laughing hard at my misfortunes. Needless to say, I wasn’t laughing at the time. Alright, where do we start? Let’s start from Monday, Monday’s are usually the worst, no?

Having arrived in Canada the Friday before, I knew nowhere nor how to get to the nowhere that I knew. I was staying at the school dormitory for the time being. A school administrator (I think), presented me with a bunch of cool stuff I needed to get ASAP, printed a map for me, and sent me on my merry way. My old sim card didn’t work in this new land so I couldn’t access the google map on the go. So I resorted to my map in hand and asking questions from the very lovely citizens of Victoria, BC.

“Hello, I’m looking for the XYZ bank,” I told the first citizen.

“Oh, you’ll need to take the bus 52,” he replied. “Just get off at Westshore mall and you’ll see the bank. Can’t miss it.”

I thanked him and boarded the 52 happily, looking all about for bank XYZ. 15 minutes later, the bus stopped and every other passenger got down. I assumed it was still going to the mall.

“Hello, mister,” the driver turned to me. “This is the end of the trip.”

“Oh wow, I was under the impression you would be going to the Westshore mall.” I explained, getting up.

“I just came from there.” he replied, smiling pitifully. “I am going back there if you can wait 45 minutes.”

“No, it’s fine. Just point me to where I can get the next bus going that way.” I should have waited 45 minutes.

The driver pointed out another bus stop and I went there to wait. About 5 minutes later, a bus came and I jumped in. I still have no clue where that bus dropped me. I asked someone for directions to the bank and he gave them to me. It would be better to assume he wasn’t a local because, after following his directions, I ended up on a construction site. I retraced my steps and asked another person. This time, I ended up at a strip-mall, but with no banks. Not the Westshore mall I was looking for but still a mall. so …progress.

I walked and walked, looking for the chosen bank. I searched high and I searched low, asking anybody who looked as though they should know. I did find the bank, after two hours and twenty-five minutes of intensively exercising my cardiovascular muscles (walking).

I waltzed into the bank feeling like the King of the Road I was. Unfortunately, the kind banker told this King that I came in late and he would have to book an appointment for the next day for me. A royal appointment, mind you.

“An appointment for tomorrow is cool,” I began, “But I spent over two hours walking and two bus rides to get here.”

“Wow.” he said, looking surprised.

“Wow? Why wow?” I asked, incredibly curious.

“Wow, because if you had walked down the Galloping Goose trail right in front of the school and turned right at Kelly Road, it would have taken you twenty-five minutes to get here.”

I’ll leave you to imagine how I felt at that particular moment. He then proceeded to print a map for me, graphically showing how I could get back to the school’s dormitory easily, and how I’d be able to get back to the bank the next day.

Let me stop now because you must be bored of my ramblings. If not, well you’d be too sad to hear what happened next. Long story short, I took ‘a’ Galloping Goose trail. Apparently, it was the wrong one, which didn’t open up in front of the school as expected. No, it opened up 700+ blocks from the school, which I spent the next three hours walking to.

And that brings us to Tuesday. (Laughing out Loud) Stay tuned.

Signed:

@the_Orecle

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